Oct. 17th, 2021

intercostalspace: (journal)
Today I've been thinking a lot about relationships and dating. I'm not sure if and how I feel romantic attraction. I know I don't feel sexual attraction and I have little to no desire for sex and sometimes it's even repulsive to me but romance I'm not so sure. I don't usually think about it but sometimes I do have desire for closeness but my friends fill that desire just fine. But I do find myself finding people attractive and I don't know if that's romantic feelings.

I find the idea of dating sort of scary because I've never really done it before other than once but I don't really count it because I just thought of her as a friend and I didn't know the difference between friendship and romance and I'm not attracted to women anyway. And I still don't think I know the difference between friendship and romance. I don't know how you can date someone you don't know really well already because you're getting in a relationship with someone you don't know who they are much and you don't know how you really get along. I think if I were to date someone we would have to be friends first because how else would I know we're compatible and I don't like strangers or people I don't know well that much.

Also since I'm in college this is the time where people are supposed to explore that kind of stuff so maybe I'll learn what I like. I've never kissed someone or anything so I don't even know if I like that. I'll talk to my roommates maybe I'll go to parties or something even though that doesn't sound like something I'd like. I don't think I'll push myself to do anything I don't want to do but I don't know what I like and don't like yet and college is supposed to be when you learn that I think. Whatever I end up figuring out I think I'll be fine with I just want to know.

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intercostalspace

November 2021

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