Wanting to be Normal
Oct. 22nd, 2021 03:22 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
intercostalspaceI'm thinking about whether or not I'm gonna stay at UConn next semester and it's really hard. On one hand I hate doing classes and it's really hard and too much for me to think about and I really really really hate school and going to class. But on the other hand I like having the college experience and I like my roommates and friends I've made and I like living near Angie and college life. It sucks that I like every part of college except what I'm technically here for. I wish I could keep everything the same but not do the school part.
I'm having the feeling again where I wish I wasn't Autistic because I wish I could just be normal. I wish I could have a normal life and make friends normally and do college and handle socializing and go to parties and meet people and maybe kiss someone and have a boyfriend or something but I know that's just not gonna happen. Everyone thinks I can but I can't. Adults think so at least. Other kids see me as weird and they know I'm not normal which is not a bad thing I just wish I could be. I want to be able to do the college thing but I don't know how to do the things other kids know how to do. I'm not as much of an adult as them they're grown up in a way that I'm not. I feel like just a little kid even when people are around my age.
I'm having the feeling again where I wish I wasn't Autistic because I wish I could just be normal. I wish I could have a normal life and make friends normally and do college and handle socializing and go to parties and meet people and maybe kiss someone and have a boyfriend or something but I know that's just not gonna happen. Everyone thinks I can but I can't. Adults think so at least. Other kids see me as weird and they know I'm not normal which is not a bad thing I just wish I could be. I want to be able to do the college thing but I don't know how to do the things other kids know how to do. I'm not as much of an adult as them they're grown up in a way that I'm not. I feel like just a little kid even when people are around my age.
